It Came Outta Nowhere!
by WordsThatKill
Summary: "It came outta nowhere!"..."The proposal?"..."No- the fist!" [If the Joker and Harley Quinn ever ended up engaged somehow]


**It Came Outta Nowhere!**

 _[A/N –I do not own any characters.]_

"It came outta nowhere!" Laughed Harley to her poisonous best friend and fellow villainess, Pamela Isely [AKA- Poison Ivy].

"The proposal?" Confirmed Ivy, riveted by Harley's tale, and still somewhat getting over the shock of that clown of a Clown finally making a real commitment to Harley.

"No- the fist!"

"The fist!?" Repeated the red head, angry and confused.

Harley laughed and moved some hair away from her face in a calculated way, purposely showing off the engagement ring on her left hand. "Yeah, it started with a punch. You see I was making dinner for Mistah J one night when…"

-6 months earlier-

"HARLEY! HARLEEEEEN!"

The petite blonde inwardly cringed. She hated when Mr. J used her full name. It always meant he was either angry with her, or in a bad mood and therefore about to be angry with her.

"In the kitchen Puddin'!" She called back to her 'kind-of-sort-of-boyfriend'.

"I told you to make me some food hours ago! What- are you pickling it or something!?" He quipped, causing Harley to chuckle despite herself.

"No Mistah J! Just making sure this pasta is cooked right! Had to start from scratch because I burnt the last batch of noddles!" She admitted, slightly embarrassed.

By now the clown prince of crime had joined his hench-girl in the kitchen, observing her actions with a not at all veiled look of disapproval.

"How the hell do you burn pasta!?" He half yelled-half sighed, moving forward to take a closer look at what disasters were occurring on the stove.

"Well ya see…" And off Harley went, retelling with vigorous animation the tale of the burnt pasta. A tale that usually The Joker would at least find slightly amusing- enough to earn a chuckle and half a smile for the dopey kid. But not tonight. Tonight he didn't hear a word of Harley's babbling. Instead he was staring at the huge diamond rock weighing down a certain finger on her left hand.

"So basically that's what happened. And then you called my name, and here we are!" Harley concluded her story, looking over at the Joker for some kind of approval or acknowledgement. Instead, she received a tight and fast fist right in her jaw; the force of which knocked her into the cupboards and down to the floor.

The poor girl was pretty used to random abuse at the hands of this man, but tonight she really had no idea what she had done wrong.

"WHO GAVE IT TO YOU!?" Shouted the Joker, his eyes intense and practically red with anger.

"Gave what to me!?" Harley stammered-the wrong thing to do. Her apparent ignorance only resulted in a swift kick in the shin from the Joker.

Harley yelped, and grabbed her pounding shin. It was then that seeing her hand finally caused everything to click inside the girl's mind.

"The ring! This ring? No one gave it to me Puddin'—I swear!" Harley explained, not flinching despite the pain in her jaw from the punch.

"THEN WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET IT!? AND WHY ARE YOU WEARING IT!?" Joker continued the interrogation, taking a threatening step forward.

"I STOLE IT! I stole it!" The blonde woman cried, holding her hands up to show she was innocent, but also to try and block any more hits. "I…I just saw it and thought it was real pretty. And I wanted to play pretend ya know?"

Looming over his 'kind-of-sort-of-girlfriend' Harley Quinn, The Joker was just barely containing his anger over the sight of _his_ little monster wearing an engagement ring. And what angered him more was the fact that he didn't really understand _why_ that sight infuriated him so much.

"And just _who_ exactly were you pretending to be little miss domestic with?" He asked, his voice calmer now, but soaked in bitterness.

"You Puddin'!" Harley answered, without missing a beat! "There aint nobody else I'd pretend to marry!" The girl scrambled to her knees, and looked up at the Joker with those big glossy, apologetic, eyes that always made the villain sneer and feel the tiniest morsel of regret for hitting her.

"I'll take it off right now and thrown it away or something! I'm sorry Mistah J! Really sorry!" She continued, her sniffling causing the Joker to roll his eyes.

"Really Harley, you're so dramatic sometimes. Just shut up for a moment." He hissed at her.

Harley nodded, and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand; carefully watching her Puddin' for any sign of what he would do next. Finally after what seemed like forever, the silence was broken.

"You stole it, you say?" He inquired, giving nothing away in his tone.

"Yeah! Well, it was crazy expensive! Like HELL I was ganna BUY it!" Harley chuckled, and then immediately slapped her hand over her mouth—worried that her Puddin' wouldn't find it quite as funny.

There was a moment of tension before the tiniest crack of a smile broke out on the villian's face. Followed by a chuckle. Until finally the two criminals were both nearly keeled over with laughter.

"You're somethin' else, doll." Joker shook his head. "I suppose you can keep the stupid thing on for a bit longer." He added before promptly walking away.

Harley pulled herself back up, grinning from ear to ear.

"But if dinner's not ready in the next 15 minutes, I'll rip that thing off your finger and slice you into spaghetti with it!" He shouted, menacingly.

Harley looked down at the ring, then into the pot of boiling linguini. "Yikes!" She shivered, and hurried with the sauce.

-6 months later-

"And he hasn't told me to take it off since!" Harley laughed. "It's 6 months to the day! So I'm ganna officially celebrate!" The blonde declared.

"But….he didn't _actually_ propose, Harl?" Ivy questioned, dumbfounded by the clown-girl's blind optimism.

"He didn't have to! Not saying anything said everything I needed to hear! You're looking at the future Mrs. Joker!" Squealed Harley, at a pitch only her hyenas could have heard.

"Yeah, well let me know when he sets a date by smashing your face through a wall or something." Drawled Ivy, who had lost interest in the subject.

"You'll be the first to know!" Chimed Harley, with a glow in her eyes. Not even Ivy's deadly sarcasm could ruin this moment for Harley. All she could think was:

 _Man, I REALLY need to start stealing more jewelry!_

 _[A/N—Thanks for reading! Please Like and Review!]_


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